Scat in the Hat

In my line of work, nonconsensual scat play happens. Shit doesn’t really bother me. At all. Well, not too much.

What I am not used to is seeing scat everywhere since I moved.

Around here there are monuments to scat.

Signs everywhere threaten to ‘take you there’.

There is even a scat express.

These things make me giggle immaturely. Every. Single. Time.

There are other signs however that make my skin crawl. I feel nauseous and angry every time I see them. They are in yards, on cars, flying on flags, and on t-shirts. They are everywhere, and there is no escape from them.

When I came home from work and saw this on the dining room table this week, I shuddered. I felt violated. But there was nothing I could do about it.

My very first thought was that I really, really, really wanted to poop in this hat. I guess “We’ll take you there” doesn’t just mean buses. I don’t think I have wanted to defecate anywhere other than a toilet EVER before in my life.

I would have thoroughly enjoyed doing just that. Hell, I would have filmed it! It was not allowed though, and I would rather be shot than give that charlatan a penny for a hat of my own, even if it was for a scat video.

Oh well, there are already more than enough of those hats filled with vile excrement out there anyway. This hat has proven to be a bigot beacon, worn by the biggest, and most dangerous ass of them all.

Mr. Trump, since I couldn’t shit in your hat, here is my impersonation of you instead.

 


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6 Responses
  1. Bee says:

    I get the giggles over things like that and I refuse to grow up! As for the hat, I’m not sure whether to defecate in it or burn the bloody thing!

  2. Molly says:

    The best and most appropriate use for that vile thing ever…. oh and like you, when we visit Philly I also giggle at the supermarket BJ’s. Doesn’t matter how many times I see it.

    Mollyxxx

  3. Zoë says:

    Nice asshat 🙂 Definitely one of the best possible uses for the thing.

  4. Bill says:

    Same here, Space Coast Area Transit, does no one look at the way this will look!

  5. Pretty good impersonation.

  6. Jade says:

    I think I’d have to move if I found that on my dining table. Ewwwww…. That’s worse than real scat.

    But “SCAT”! That’s too funny…

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