Playing With Fire

I was originally going to write about last night, being ‘sold’ to pay a debt. I considered using this photo.

But I can’t really write about last night. Not because of his privacy issues, which is a concern… but because I want to talk about something else. And most of you couldn’t handle the details anyway. Some kinks are still taboo… even among you perverts.

So what do I want to talk about?


I talk about pain a lot. I love pain. Usually. And I love to find new ways to be hurt. I even blogged about one the other day.

Most pain can leave me blissfully happy, floating along in my happy place, dancing under the implements, moaning for more. Eventually. After I fight it for a while…

Some pain I do not like though. Last night’s was that type. The night wasn’t about pain at all, but he does know exactly how to hurt me in ways I can’t enjoy. Repeatedly. Pinning me down. Laughing. Because he can. Because he knows it won’t actually harm me. Because he knows I’m too stubborn to safeword on it. When he tired of that, he moved on to far more evil things.

In either case, my brain reacts the same. It adjusts to the pain. The effects last quite a while for me. Days sometimes. I wrote a post about the dangers of this when I barely felt a broken ankle. And today I was reminded of it again.

When I got home this morning, I went in the kitchen and was reaching for something when I heard a sound. I recognized it… after a second or two. It sounded like throwing a steak on a grill. It was my hand. Someone had left a burner on. I moved it quickly then, but I had already burned three fingers.

I felt the burner. I could feel my fingers. But the burns didn’t hurt. They still don’t, even though I know they should. There’s no blistering. Just white, cooked, flesh.

If the skin turns white immediately after the burn occurs and you feel no pain at the site, this may be a third-degree burn. And a bad burn without blistering also points towards 3rd degree; if enough layers are destroyed blisters will not form. 

If my body hadn’t already been shutting out pain, I believe I would’ve felt the burn immediately. I would’ve automatically flinched away. But I didn’t. I gave myself third degree burns.

I need to remember this (again) and be even more careful when I can’t feel pain.

You need to know this if you’re going to play with pain, whether giving or receiving.

Protect the body when you play with the mind. I can not stress this enough.

A reminder that should’ve been painful. (And my original pic *may* still be lurking here…)

Sinful Sunday
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23 Responses
  1. kazigrrl says:

    Scary. There are people who don't feel pain regularly who are a danger to themselves because they have no limits, and I have a couple of them in my caseload. I had not thought of that happening as a result of pain play…
    My recent post Sinful Sunday: Bondage Alphabet Part Three

  2. frisky916cpl says:

    Ouch. Though we don't practice BDSM, certainly not to the extent that many of our friends do, this has occurred to us. Hope the burn heals quickly!
    My recent post Formspring Friday: D/s

  3. curvydee says:

    I am so sorry you hurt yourself!

    (And I love the original pic – I think you look fantastic!)

    xx Dee
    My recent post Salamander Fountain

  4. mrs jojo says:

    i've done this before, as a result from adrenaline still pumping. It's our body's natural pain killer, some times can do more harm than good 🙁
    My recent post Slowly slowly catchee monkey

  5. jana says:

    Ouch!! I'm so sorry you hurt yourself like this. Your final words are a wise message. I've experienced desensitation from pain but never as a result/ during a sexual session. I will need your words.

    Xoxo Jana
    My recent post Sinful Sunday: Marked

  6. rebelsnotes says:

    Powerful words and a good warning!
    Rebel xox
    My recent post Curvy clamp

  7. Ruby Goodnight says:

    Wow – I can certainly see this happening to me one day. Thanks for the warning!
    My recent post Sinful Sunday – Silly Shower Sexiness

  8. Molly says:

    I think I have been lucky so far and I suspect it has something to do with him keeping a close eye on me when I in this state but so far no injuries.

    My recent post Rush Of Heat

  9. Kamelsr says:

    The story is very cautionary both to the sub and the dom. But I find that you look very pathetic sitting on the toilet. And that is very very hot.

  10. I know this too, high pain tolerance has a “kick in the ass” if we are not careful. As said by Kamelsr this is cautionarry to Dom/mes as well as subs. So many Dom/mes are not aware of this and do sometimes take things further than they should because they do not know their sub well enough – this happened to me and I hurt for weeks afterwards.

    I love that you highlighted this but do hope that you heal soon, take care that the burns do not infect, keep them covered and clean and use the correct dressings for 3rd degree burns (jelonet works well if you can get it).

    ~Mia~ xx
    My recent post My Amazing Pussy

  11. J, onesubsmission says:

    Oh no! I hope it heals quickly. I've had a similar issue too in the past, not even noticing when I stood on glass barefoot until I saw the blood!

    Trouble is, it's a double whammy – I think that often we tend to be a bit clumsier and less observant when still coasting down from that endorphin high, as well as less able to notice pain!


  12. Yes, THAT Tonya says:

    Ouchies! I'm so glad that you realized quickly enough that there wasn't any serious or lasting damage!

    I love the click through. You look so tousled and adorable!

  13. Phoenix says:

    Timely reminder, I've had this in the past but not aware of it recently other than being even more clumsier than I normally am after a hard session.
    Thanks for the reminder
    My recent post #SinfulSunday #69 Sweetness!

  14. Inferno says:

    I've burned myself in exactly that same way twice. Once as a child & once as an adult.
    Both times I would say it hurt pretty nasty. Also was slow to heal because of using my fingers and opening the wounds repeatedly = more ouch!
    You are certainly desensitized if those burns aren't getting you.

  15. Mr. AbsinthePassion says:

    Wow, you were really juiced up still not to feel that one! I hope the heal quickly!

    Someday I hope to hear the story you didn't tell. I'm odd, though; not much squicks me out these days, at least in print. Too much reading of Clive Barker, I suppose.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

  16. freakyv says:

    Been there too. Love pain, but I notice my tolerance is higher and sometimes I don't recognize dangers.
    My recent post Back from Vacation

  17. mektah says:

    I think your original photo intrigues me more…luckily I have someone amazing that satisfies any curiosity I have.

  18. reneeroseauthor says:

    yipes! I never thought of pain tolerance as changing, but I suppose it really does. I know after childbirth I stopped flinching at getting needled for acupuncture, etc. I suppose the more we play with pain/pleasure, the more our pain receptors change… thanks for a thought provoking post.