Why do I post the pictures I do?

Well here it is. Another Wednesday. Time to look through all of my pictures to find something slutty to post. I do have a lot of pictures. And video. I may not have as much porn on my computer as some of you pervs out there, but mine is all me.

When I think about it, I have to laugh. I must be a complete narcissist to have such a collection. Hey everybody! Look at me! Wanton Wednesday and Sinful Sunday aren’t enough for me. I have to post naked pictures on Twitter and Tumblr in between to feed my need for attention.

I am not dismissing the fact that it does feed my exhibitionist kink. But that’s not why I do it. I do it for me. The pictures I choose to share, whether in a quick upload with no caption or a featured part of a post here, are my moments… my memories. They are so much more than anyone else can ever grasp the meaning of unless, of course, they were there.

When I have the time to write I do. I can ramble on about even just one small part of an amazing evening for a very long time. Some people even like those ramblings. Again, those are for me. My memories. The things that make me hot, or happy, or whatever. When I read them again, I remember the rest of those nights (not counting spacey times) and the people, the preparation, the journey, the time after, and most importantly of all- the feelings.

I don’t always have time to write. But I do have my pictures. I have tons of them. Most are blurry, a bad angle, unflattering, poor quality, and really not good at all. The videos too. But every now and then, one speaks to me. Even just a very small part of a photo can capture that perfect moment, look, and feeling for me. A picture can speak a thousand words and that saves a lot of typing time to say the same thing to myself.

Even the hunt through the folders a couple times a week because I “have to” post a picture on Wednesday or Sunday has become important to me. It’s a break to relive those special times in my mind again. Often I make the photos “artsy” to cover the blurs and graininess of the shot or to protect privacy. Or sometimes just because I like the effect. I get a creative release just playing with the pictures. With my schedule, just that bit of a slutty time-out brightens my day.

Other people enjoy the pictures I post. I know because they tell me. That does make me feel good. Some people like to share back, showing me just how much they enjoyed my photos. That really doesn’t do anything for me though, guys. Not my kink. Remember, I am not putting these here for you but feel free to continue enjoying my pictures in ways that make you feel good too.

When I think back to when I first started exploring BDSM, my posts had pictures. I searched the internet or created my own to express the intent, the feeling that I wanted to remember. I never showed much of myself even when I did post a real photo. Even when I liked the shot, I didn’t like the body in the picture. You are welcome to browse back through the blog to see the examples.

Then a funny thing started to happen. I started to see the beauty of me. Sounds narcissistic again, doesn’t it? For an old woman, way too fat, hating every part of her body, and definitely not feeling sexy in any way *that* is a life changing revelation! As my body image improved, my entire self image improved. Even though I wasn’t perfect, I felt sexy. I was sexy.

Not only did my body image improve, my body improved. I started eating better. I was more active. I lost almost 60 pounds so far since last October. I feel better. I am more confident. I have more energy. I look better than I have in years. I see a healthy, happy, beautiful; woman now when I look in the mirror. Just typing that right now made me well up with tears of joy. 

I blame the pictures. So I’m going to keep posting them. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I may write about them. I may not. And whether they are completely safe for work and only hint at naughtiness, or maybe a bit more graphic (like the click-through) I am saving them for me.

Today’s are special for me not only because of the memories, but because of the person in them. I am looking forward to spending time with pet on her birthday this week, and you’d better believe I am going to be very wanton!

Do you feel like sometimes you want to be a little more than just half naked? A bit more than just slightly suggestive? For the weeks you want to play with the wicked & wanton crowd, feel free to join us on Wednesdays.
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Thank you.

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