Orgasm vs Subspace?

@SlipperyWhnWhet: This is one of the reasons I am glad I am a Masochist. *sigh*
(My tweet last night after I finished my “The Calm After The Storm” post. It got a response from a young Dom I have chatted with before.)
@WryGuy77: @SlipperyWhnWhet Sounds really enticing. Could certainly use that from time to time. 🙂
(I saw he was on messenger, so I sent him a message. An interesting discussion was the result, as it usually is with him. I thought I would share.)
Me: All you have to do is get beaten to oblivion… 😉
W: haha
Me: lol
W: It’s tempting. I’m not a masochist like you or B are. But because of what you’ve written I’m willing to try. 🙂
Me: I thought you already had.
W: Sorta. Did get beat. Didn’t make it to subspace tho.
Me: (A year ago I would have said I was not a masochist… No way I would try it…)
W: I usually stop (call red, 9/10, etc) beforehand. Hmmm. Interesting.
Me: Have yet to call red from pain.
W: I’d say, for me, I still have a mental block where pain = bad.
Me: I can understand that. I give the credit to very talented Sadists that read me well.
W: Yeah. I’d say that’s probably important. So how long will it be before you go back for more? With B she’s basically ready again every week. 😛
Me: I would like to go back this week, but not sure what my/his schedule will allow.
W: Gotcha.
Me: There is a down side, though, to this sometimes. Subdrop SUCKS.
W: Yeah. Have a friend who just went through a really bad subdrop. Like marriage-straining bad.
Me: Yup. Like PMS on steroids, then X100.
W: Yeah. Someone will come up with a technique to manage that. Bring down gradually. I’m sure. There’s actual research going into BDSM + brain now.
Me: When I get it I usually recognize it. Chocolate, warm baths, snuggling wrapped up in a comforter, etc. And biting my tongue… a lot…
W: Literally or figuratively?
Me: Figuratively.
W: Yeah.
Me: Very dark thoughts then.
W: 🙁 Have you written about those ever?
Me: A very little. Usually don’t.
W: Would be a good post. Something to help others. Recognize, relate, deal. Very personal tho. Not easy to do.
Me: Usually at the time, I try not to dwell.
W: You find great pictures to go with your posts.
Me: For that one I probably searched for loneliness, depression, suicidal, etc. Took a while to find the right one for today’s.
W: Today’s was perfect. It’s funny how much we are run by our brain chems. You can know everything logically. But if the endorphins are receding you can still feel like total crap. Self-worthless, etc. And the opposite too of course.
Me: Like the opposite!
W: 😀 And if you don’t get subdrop all the time then you’re coming out ahead. 🙂 Speaking of coming… Do you orgasm while you’re in subspace?
Me: I do.
W: Or is it separate?
Me: But it’s different.
W: How so?
Me: Hmmm…. It’s not so much my body. It’s my soul. Although I hear my body is having one hell of a good time too…
W: haha
Me: If I get to where I am totally “checked out”, completely out of body, I don’t (and become unresponsive) but at that time, nothing on earth is important….
W: Yeah. Different space entirely I’d expect. Here’s a Q: Which would you rather have?
Me: lol. Different universe. Which what?
W: Orgasm vs subspace? If you were only going to have one in a day.
Me: Subspace.
W: Nice. 🙂 Can you put yourself into subspace?
Me: I wish. Once I was still very floaty the next day and took a drink of something hot. You know that feeling when you swallow and it gets stuck going down?
W: Yup.
Me: Very hot on top of that pain… Just started taking deep breaths and telling myself there was nothing I could do and that it would pass. “Surrendered” to that pain while still riding high… Flew a bit by myself in the kitchen. Very strange.
W: Neat. 🙂
Me: Still fucking hurt… lol.
W: Do you get there from anything besides beatings? haha
Me: Extreme pleasure to the point of being unbearable… It has to do with surrender. Not submitting
W: Hmm. Much to ponder. Definitely need to try for it myself though.
Me: Plenty of time.
W: Even if it’s just a fraction as intense as what you describe. Yeah. That’s one thing I like about BDSM. It’s lifelong once you’re in. Lots of 50-year-olds into it.
Me: He is 59. It is not always this intense. Not with my other friends.
W: Head space again?
Me: They stop when I say “stop”. lol!
W: You’ve been looking forward to this for a while. haha. Yeah. Is that how you get to surrender? Fight, fight, fight, give up?
Me: Not really fight. Try. Think I can’t go any further. Being told I can take just a little bit more…
W: Hmmm.
Me: Then not needing to be told and taking all I get.
W: How much of the estimation is in you, and how much is in your top?
Me: Hmmm… I do not know. First reaction was 50/50, but I don’t know. I am different with the different men. So what I am at that time is part him too.
W: I think that I call too much… Want someone who will not listen, even if I (try to) safeword. Obviously has to be someone who can judge for themselves accurately.
Me: Ball gags work. 😛
W: Not sure if that’s even possible. haha. Not THAT into edgeplay. Still want to say “dammit my nose itches.” 😛 Just need someone other than myself to control the pain levels. 😛
Me: I sought a very experienced Sadist for this. 25 years.
W: Yup. Soooooooo much to know. I’m 3 months into real experience. 😛
Me: *sigh* Practice, practice, practice… but that’s half the fun.
W: Yup. 🙂 Definitely.
Me: At least you have a willing victim. 🙂
W: Yes! Not just willing but craving. 🙂 And pretty good about knowing herself too. The big problem is that she squirms a lot so it’s hard to aim right. 😉 (Getting rope for that.)
Me: Oh, I got a hard hit with vampire gloves just as I moved my hand down onto my ass. Owie!!
W: haha
Me: Palm pretty sensitive.
W: I bet. I have to head to bed.
Me: Me too.
W: Thanks again for the talk. 🙂 And of course for your writing; keep it up.
Me: Always. You ask questions that make me think. Love that. Goodnight.
W: I try. Good night.
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Thank you.

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