Today I am very sad. I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it. 
I miss Sir. I am not talking about the sex or the pain right now (although, God, I miss that). I am talking about the man, the morning conversations, the little talks throughout the day, and our chats before bed.

I have so many things to keep me busy, so much to do. I do not think about him every single moment, but often. He has become part of my life. More of a part than I had realized. 
Our relationship is not a relationship. I told him once that I was using him just as much as he was using me. He is my Dom, my teacher. It has been almost business-like. There is a strong connection, and very deep trust between us. There has to be, or he could not be my Master. But no emotional involvement. Or so I thought. 
So why am I sad? He isn’t gone forever. He is just on vacation, and having a hell of a good time. I really am glad he is having fun. I know he is busy, and that it is impossible to instant message while windsurfing. He does message still throughout the day, just not as often, or for as long. I have told him I have become spoiled. I know I can get through the day just fine without my “Good morning slut”. I just don’t want to. I guess I am just being selfish.

I am rambling now, but writing about my feelings helps me to sort them out. Usually. Logically or not, though, I am still sad, and probably will be until I see him again.
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2 Responses
  1. I feel for you. Personally I think it's impossible not to end up emotionally attached when you have a connection that deep, but maybe that's just me.

    My recent post The graveyard shift

    • iSlut_ says:

      I am finding that out, and it's a new adjustment for me. Not used to having emotions tied to sex at all!!! Then again, not used to having this kind of complete connection during sex, either. *sigh*
      My recent post Sad