Yesterday when I asked Sir to help me define our relationship so I could properly add him on my Fetlife profile, I offered all of the possible choices:
  • submissive
  • masochist
  • bottom
  • owned and collared
  • owned
  • collared
  • slave
  • in service
  • under protection
  • under consideration
  • pet
  • toy
  • girl
He chose “owned”. It felt right to me, made me very happy, and I changed my status.

After that, I got some varying opinions of what “owned” meant. One friend said it was the same thing as being collared. Another said it was a final step taken after being collared for a time.

Apparently I needed to read up on these definitions. Should be a simple task, right? Not! It just brought up the whole submissive/slave definition debate. Can a submissive be owned? What is the difference (if any) between being submissive and being a slave? It seems like there are no set definitions for anything.

If I go by the old school versions, only a slave can be owned, it is a 24/7 thing, and she gives up all of her rights. That is definitely not me!

A wide range of other opinions vary all the way to “it’s just something you call someone when they are in a D/s relationship”. 

But it means more than that to me.

When I asked my Mentor he (and his former Mistress) agreed it was subjective. He said “that means you are fully His in His eyes” to which my response was “I am when I am with Him”. That in a nutshell is what I have come up with for my own definition of what “owned” means to me.
  • I have never felt any need to question Him.
  • When he tells me something I obey, not because He told me to, but because I honestly, truly want to.
  • I trust Him not to ask anything of me that I flat out will not do.
  • I expect Him to ask things of me that I may not want to do.
  • I know He will not cause me harm.
  • He is aware that real life things often have priority.
  • I will tell Him if I am having any negative feelings or concerns.
Will conflicts happen? Of course they will. We are both human.

I know the next question is “Why didn’t you ask your Master?” I can’t because He is at work right now. I will ask for His definition, and what more specifically He expects from me, but before then I wanted to figure out my own thoughts.

After all of this trying to figure out how I really feel, I am back to square one. I swear sometimes I should just trust my gut instincts and stop thinking so much!

I am OWNED. It feels right to me, and it makes me very happy.
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